Award-nominated Brum-based style blogger. Keen on sustainability + minimalism. Big fan of chocolate-coated pretzels.

In a Long Distance Relationship? Here’s My Advice…

In a Long Distance Relationship? Here’s My Advice…

 

Long distance relationships get a bad reputation. I often hear people saying it’s ‘too much effort’, ‘impossible to keep up’ or ‘just too lonely day-to-day’. Today I’m going to bust that myth with reasons as to why you should never give up on a relationship simply because of distance, and top tips as to how to make it work for both of you.

 

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Last year my boyfriend went to a small town in Canada for nine months as part of his university degree’s year abroad. We live in the UK so, as you can imagine, this was a pretty big shift.

From five hour timezone differences (to be fair, it could have been a lot worse) to dodgy internet connections, when you’re relying on technology as your sole means of communication – particularly when you’re on different continents – there’s bound to be practical complications from time to time.

The emotional side can certainly be a lot more trying, which is unsurprising and pretty frustrating. I’m lucky in that my boyfriend was going to return less than a year later and we’d live together again, whereas I’m fully aware that many couples’ long distance relationship is either much more long term or, in fact, permanent.

 

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I learnt a lot during our year apart-yet-together, so I’ve put together my top tips for a long distance relationship and I really hope you find them helpful.

 

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I would say the most important thing is trust. If you trust each other, your relationship is going to be absolutely fine.

 

I’d also suggest to keep in regular contact, if you can. Try not to make it excessive, though. It’s so important that you continue to grow as individuals as well as together, no matter how tempting it is to be texting each other non-stop. Obviously time differences can make things difficult but putting in a couple of minutes to make sure you have a message from each other when you wake up is my alternative to actually waking up next to each other!

 

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Whilst texting is great, I think calling is super special- hearing their voice really makes such a difference.

 

Organising (in advance) FaceTime sessions where you watch a movie or both order pizza over FaceTime with ‘Netflix Friends’ I think it’s called, can be a cute night in too! Even FaceTiming and cooking the same meal (maybe it’ll be their lunch and your dinner because of time differences) and then comparing to see who made it better can be fun! Then of course sitting down to eat it together!

 

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I also found that going out on adventures that you would usually do together can be really fun- taking photos of new places you find that you want to take them or your favourite places to go together and then sending the photos to them can feel like you’re somewhat sharing the adventure.

 

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Writing letters/cards. There’s something so much more personal about handwriting a message than typing it, even though they’re from the same person. It also makes you feel like you’re in a 1940s-style romantic movie, and who wouldn’t want that?

 

Plan an adventure for each time you’re together in advance so that you’ve always got that to look forward to – whether it’s just a day trip somewhere new, lunch at your favourite restaurant or a couple of nights away somewhere you’re keen to discover together!

 

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Keep one of their shirts. If they don’t give you one, steal it. When you wear it it’s like a cuddle (lame and gross but true)!

 

Keep a little photo of you together that makes you smile somewhere that you see it regularly – your lockscreen background, on your bedside table, on a shelf.

 

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I hope if you’re in a long distance relationship that my tips and story help you, and if you’ve got a friend who’s just entered a long distance relationship or is feeling a bit low about a looming one, please do share this post with them to reassure them that they can do it! Feel free to share your long distance relationship tips in the comments below to help out other people who are reading this!

 

featured photo: rawpixel
illustrations: Victoria Wang
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19 Comments

  1. November 7, 2018 / 9:06 PM

    My boyfriend and I are currently living around 120 miles apart and both working full-time, so we only see each other every few weeks. It’s really hard sometimes but communication definitely helps, as does having your own hobbies and friends to keep you happy (and sane!)

    Abi | https://whatabigailsays.co.uk/

    • Nati
      Author
      November 13, 2018 / 10:35 AM

      Hey Abi! That sounds intense but it sounds like you’re doing really well – you can do this, I promise! x

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 12:22 PM

      Thank you Laura! x

  2. October 9, 2018 / 12:42 PM

    My boyfriend travels a lot and is away long periods at a time. Especially last Spring felt like we were in a long distance relationship. It was a very trying period of time but we both learned a lot about ourselves as well as each other through it. I’ve also written some tips on how to turn the hardship of being apart into victory. You can find my tips here:

    http://outlandishblog.com/benefits-of-being-apart/
    http://outlandishblog.com/how-to-make-a-long-distance-relationship-work/

    x Teresa

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:42 AM

      Hi Teresa! That’s incredible – it tests a relationship but it definitely strengthens it too, I think. Thanks for sharing your posts too! x

  3. Rosita
    October 8, 2018 / 11:38 PM

    That’s a sweet story. Thanks for sharing dear. I’ve recently started my #LDR And he will come down after 4 months. He will be here 15 days only. Then his next trip will be after 10 months! Long distance relationship sucks! But it’s got it’s own adventures too…

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:42 AM

      Hi Rosita! Hope you and your boyfriend are doing great and that you find this post helpful in the mean time. I promise he’ll be worth the wait each time! x

  4. October 8, 2018 / 4:17 PM

    I completely agree with all of this – Neal and I were long distance (small in comparison to you two, though) and all of these things helped us see it through. It can be such an incredibly hard situation to be in, but doing these things definitely makes it more bearable.

    The illustrations in this are ADORABLE, by the way.

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:43 AM

      Hi Ruth! So glad you guys are doing so well now, too – it’s certainly trying but definitely worth it! x

  5. mglassford
    October 7, 2018 / 12:25 PM

    Hi Nati!

    I have to say that I love this post because it is so creative and not the typical tips that I see on this topic. I’m currently in a long distance relationship and we are doing just fine, but I LOVE the idea of planning little FaceTime dates where we both order pizza or watch Netflix together! Your illustrations throughout this blog are also adorable! And yes, he gave me a shirt of his before he left. In the beginning it smelled like him, but that has faded and it’s now just comforting. Like you said, a cuddle! Thanks again for sharing!

    -Melanie

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:44 AM

      Hey Melanie! Thank you so much – I’m so glad you like the post and found it so helpful! The cuddle in the form of a shirt is essential – glad you’ve got that one down! Hope you guys are doing well and enjoying your Netflix and pizza dates over FaceTime! x

  6. October 7, 2018 / 10:47 AM

    This is a great post! I’m in a long distance relationship but luckily he has come to visit. We have a 12 hour time difference which makes it quite difficult but we’re doing great! I’m planning to move to New Zealand next year 😍

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:45 AM

      Thank you so much! Wow, that’s huge but it sounds like you’ve got so many exciting times ahead with your move! Wishing you all the best x

  7. October 7, 2018 / 10:41 AM

    Absolutely love this!

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:45 AM

      Thank you so much, Nabeeda! x

  8. October 7, 2018 / 9:56 AM

    This is really sweet. I love the illustrations. 5 year LDR over here.

    • Nati
      Author
      October 15, 2018 / 11:46 AM

      Hi Susan! Wow, that’s incredible – so glad you like the post too! x

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